


Punny Little Thing Called Love

by captainegg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 3 + 1, Bad Puns, Crack, First Kiss, Fluff and Crack, Fun, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Nicknames, it's cursed, no beta we die like men, puns are his love language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25400902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainegg/pseuds/captainegg
Summary: Three times Sirius gives Remus a stupid nickname and one time he doesn't.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	Punny Little Thing Called Love

**Author's Note:**

> I gave birth to this idea at 2 am, it’s cursed.  
> Thank you Cooper for encouraging me, I blame this one you.
> 
> Title inspired by "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen

**\- 1 -**

They sat in the Great Hall for lunch. James was talking about Quidditch practice and Lily, Peter was an avid listener, Sirius was shoving unbelievably large amounts of food into his mouth, and Remus tried to finish his book in peace.

Which was about to get a lot more difficult.

“Teamus, can you pass me the pumpkin pasties?”

Remus sighed and looked up from his book. “Sirius, it’s called _please_.” He returned to his book when it suddenly struck him. “What did you just call me?”

Sirius leaned over Remus to retrieve the pumpkin pasties, dropping a handful on his plate. “Teamus. As in tea and Remus, your name, you know? Teamus.” He shrugged with a grin and stuffed a pastie into his mouth.

Remus groaned. “Please don’t call me that ever again,” was the only thing he said before he got up and left for class. 

**\- 2 -**

A few days later, he was sitting in the library and working on an essay when Sirius slid into the chair next to him. Remus sighed and looked up. “What do you want, Sirius?” 

Sirius pretended to be hurt by his question, clutching his shirt and sighing melodramatically. “Is that really what you think of me? So rude.”

Remus rolled his eye and moved his books and parchment to the side to make space on the table for Sirius.

They worked in silence for a while.

Sirius had buried his nose deep in a potions book and Remus couldn’t help but be suspicious. When had Sirius ever voluntarily read a book, especially for school? Remus put his quill down with a sigh and turned towards his friend.

“What do you really want, Sirius? I’m pretty sure you didn’t come here to read a book,” he said with a raised eyebrow. Sirius glanced at him from behind his book.

“Remus Hula-Hoopin, words can hurt.”

Remus felt his jaw drop. He opened and closed his mouth multiple times before he just shook his head and returned his attention to his homework.

“Oh, come on, that was a funny one!” Sirius gently shoved Remus but he only rolled his eyes again and picked up his quill. “You are the worst, Pads.”

**\- 3 -**

Remus sat in the Common Room by the fire, nibbling on some chocolate as he watched he flames dance over logs of wood.

James was out with Lily, Peter was in the library doing homework and Sirius was Merlin knows where.

Remus appreciated the small and quiet moments a lot. He loved being around his friends, strolling through the castle and sneaking through secret tunnels but sometimes he needed some time to himself.

It had been a full moon a few days ago and Remus was still healing from it and coming down from feeling on edge all day. He broke off another piece of chocolate, tearing his eyes away from the fireplace as the portrait swung open and someone entered the room. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus spotted ink-black hair.

“Sirius,” he said surprised, catching the other’s attention.

“Hey, Briemus.” He sat down across from Remus in an armchair, crossing his legs and smiling.

Remus put down the chocolate bar with a groan. “Sirius, what have I ever done to you to deserve that? Whatever it is, please stop,” he said.

Sirius only laughed. “Whatever you want, Briemus.” 

**\- 4 -**

“Hey, Remus. Can we talk?” Sirius asked, nervously shuffling around and biting his bottom lip.

Remus looked up from his book.

Did Sirius just call him Remus? He had gotten so used to Sirius butchering his name that the sound of him saying it right felt oddly strange.

“Sure,” he said and put down his book, gesturing Sirius to sit down next to him on the bed.

Sirius looked around their dorm room.

James was sprawled on the floor, rambling about what he would get Lily for her birthday, and Peter stuffed his face with cauldron cakes while writing a letter to his mother.

“Alone, I mean,” Sirius said quietly.

“Oh, sure. Give me a second.” Remus put his book to the side, slipped on a jumper and shoes before following Sirius outside.

They walked through the castle for a while, Sirius ahead of Remus, eyes pinned to the floor.

Remus watched his friend closely.

Whatever it was that Sirus wanted to talk about, it had to be something serious. The Black was never quiet. At least not like this.

Remus quickened his pace, finally catching up with Sirius. He gently touched his elbow. “Let’s go and find an empty classroom, alright?”

Sirius stopped in his tracks, looked at Remus and nodded.

Remus chewed on his lower lip as they started to walk in silence again.

Once they found an open and empty classroom, Remus found himself pinned against the nearest wall. He swallowed, his heart hammering hard against his ribs.

Sirius, even though he was smaller than Remus, towered over him, the expression on his face indistinctive.

“Sirius?” Remus asked, his voice barely more than a breath.

Something inside of Sirius suddenly snapped back into place and he stepped back.

Remus steadied himself against the wall and pushed a few golden locks behind his ear. That was unexpected

“Sorry,” Sirius mumbled, turning his back towards Remus.

“No, Sirius, it’s- … I- … it’s fine.” He cleared his throat and walked over to Sirius, gently grabbing his hand and turning him around. Sirius averted his eyes, avoiding to look at Remus. “Hey, you wanted to talk and I’m here to listen,” he said with a soft smile, leaning closer into Sirius’ personal space.

He expected Sirius to push him away, to tell him to get lost. But he didn’t.

Instead, he leaned against Remus, their shoulders and knees brushing against each other until they were hugging.

Remus had never been a big hugger but Sirius just fitted so perfectly against his own body, the way his head rested on his shoulder, the soft brush of Sirius’s breath against his skin. Remus nuzzled his nose into ink-black hair, allowing himself to enjoy being close to his friend. His heart fluttered.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he whispered and pulled back a little to look at Sirius.

They stood in silence for another moment before Sirius finally lifted his head and looked at him. “I have to tell you something but I’m afraid it will change the way you look at me. And I can’t let this happen because you are my friend and you mean so much to me,” Sirius swallowed hard, “and I can’t imagine living in a world without you by my side.”

Remus eyes nervously darted from his storm grey eyes down to his parted lips and back up again. His thump brushed over Sirius’ knuckles. “I can’t imagine not being your friend either,” he said quietly, “but I have something to tell you too, I guess.”

Their eyes met.

“I like you,” they said at the same time.

The tightness fell off of Sirius and he slumped against Remus with a laugh, beaming up at him.

Remus tilted his head down, softly brushing their noses together before meeting Sirius for a kiss.

It was sloppy and uncoordinated and full of teeth and tongue but it was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm truly sorry you had to witness that.
> 
> Check out my [tumblr](https://im-captain-egg.tumblr.com/) for more feral energy, leave kudos or a comment, do whatever you feel like and all that jazz.  
> Stay hydrated, kids!
> 
> Bye!
> 
> \- captainegg


End file.
